Passive/Aggressive

You know what I hate? I hate when conflict. I am so non-confrontational that it's insane. I will let people walk all over me. I will push my passive nature to the limit just to avoid conflict with a roommate or a friend. I will side step any issue; sweep it under the rug neatly and hope it doesn't rear its ugly head at a later date. It just seems easier sometimes.

Sure there are pros to being passive. Some people like a passive person. Some people mistake this as "easygoing" or, often times "good listener" and will tell you anything about themselves that you may or may not actually care about. They will reveal intimate personal details that, many times, I'd rather not know. But do I take the time to stop them? Do I tell them "actually buddy, I'd rather not hear about what this girl did to...oh..you're going to tell me anyway, huh?" No, of course not, because I wouldn't want to interrupt my friend. Maybe I'm the only person that he can talk to about this particular issue. So, I put his feelings before mine and listen to awful, graphic stories that I am probably still too young to be hearing.

There are most certainly cons to being passive, too. All of these repressed feelings of frustration and resentment can only be bottled up for so long. Eventually they must all come to the surface in an often times surprising explosion of anger and hostility. Whoever happens to be in the path of this verbal destruction? Take cover! There will be months of repressed anger fired your way, whether it was your fault or not. The other cons include, getting involved in long-term relationships that you never wanted in the first place (I know from firsthand experience) and taking shifts at work so other people can just have a free Saturday (because you can't say no...because, ya know, you're passive).

Seems like being aggressive would be so great. I could finally say "no!" to all those people I've wanted to say no to for so long. I could finally say what I think! But I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. There are probably many aggressive people who wish that they could just keep their mouths shut when, instead, they blow up.

I guess part of growing up and maturing is learning how to be passive without being a doormat. How to get what you want without being overly aggressive. And the biggest part of growing up? I guess that's figuring out how to be at peace with the fact that yeah, sometimes you're passive but deep down, you're a good person.